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New Friday Night Lights music video: Something Beautiful - Even accountants have imagination
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New Friday Night Lights music video: Something Beautiful
Title: Something Beautiful (download here)
Fandom: Friday Night Lights; S2
Music: Something Beautiful by Tracy Bonham
Stats: DivX (54.9MB) or WMV (30.9MB), 3:49
Something in me almost breaks, but I wait...

Tami Taylor S2 character study. Notes and lyrics are under the cut and an extended commentary can be found here. Feedback is awesome and amazing (much like Tami herself).

I was going to write my usual blurb, but this quote from Tami (from 2.12, Who Do You Think You Are?) sums it up:

I think I forgot. I think I forgot what this new motherhood does to your life. How much it just turns everything upside down. And I really thought that I was gonna be able to do it, you know? And I can do the job, and I could raise Gracie, and take care of you, and take care of Jules, and... But I don't think...I don't think I can do it.

Ultimately, of course, she DOES do it. Not without difficulty, but she hangs in there, bless her. She is tenacious, she is flawed, she is amazing.

Light weight, too straight, no reaction
I don't care if I'm not in fashion
I will follow you, I will follow you
It's hearts up, heads down, puddle of red wine
You get back up and you face the climb
I will follow you

Something in me almost breaks
But I wait
I'm sinking in my skin
Yeah, I wait
My heart is wearing thin
'Cause I'm looking for
Something beautiful

You cut me up and you make me bleed
A sad, stained heart hanging on my sleeve
I'll still follow you, I will follow you
And you say, "Look up, look up, look all around you
Can't you see the love that surrounds the very soul of you?"

Something in me almost breaks
But I wait
I'm sinking in my skin
Yeah, I wait
My heart is wearing thin
'Cause I'm looking for
Something beautiful
Something meaningful

You stick your soul out, risk it all
Your fearless beauty breaks your fall

Something in me
Knows there's something more
And it's so close I wanna run

But I wait
I'm sinking in my skin
And I wait
My heart is wearing thin
'Cause I'm looking for
Something beautiful
And I pray
For it to come right in
There'll come a day
My heart is wearing thin
That I'll fall upon
Something beautiful
Something meaningful
Something beautiful

Finally, a vid I can RELEASE! Actually my third vid this year, but the first two won't see the light of day until Vividcon in August. This was interesting in contrast to my previous FNL vid -- I went into this thinking it would be *so* much easier, since it was focused on a single character and not an ensemble piece. Deciding what to clip was indeed more straightforward, but then it was like...um, they're talking...they're talking ALL THE DAMN TIME. So, the challenge in this case was to find active, demonstrative moments buried in those endless discussions.

cibby -- aka my Ouiser, fellow FNL-lover and very recent Newborn Boot Camp survivor -- this one's for you :)

Tags: ,
Current Mood: jubilant jubilant

46 comments or speak!
subtle__sarcasm From: subtle__sarcasm Date: May 29th, 2008 09:58 am (UTC) (Link)
that was heartbreaking and beautiful ♥
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: May 29th, 2008 05:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you SO much :)
From: cibby Date: May 29th, 2008 02:14 pm (UTC) (Link)

That was perfect

Seriously now! I stalked and stalked your LJ and every time I opened my reader I'd *sigh* because a Dear One vid wasn't posted yet. So this morning when I saw it in my reader I didn't even wait, I downloaded in the middle of "get ready for school" and was like "I'll comment after I drop them off but I HAVE to see this!" and then Syd came out crying over her ears hurting and was burning up, Allison was running late at the table during this while TALKING to her breakfast rather than eating it and "oh yeah by the way Mom I need to wear a dress today..did you forget..I told you remember?" and all the while Audrey is waking up and I hear the count down of the baby *grunt grunt grunt* that says, "Very soon you'll be sitting in a chair feeding me and all these other things will HALT whether they're finished or not." and I had to get up and leave it. :-( So...all that said..........

The first time I watched it I was shouting (quietly, of course) YES YES YES with those lyrics and pointing at the screen as if you could hear me while I agreed with it all. "Something in me almost breaks but I wait" and "hearts up, heads down, puddle of red wine. You get back up and you face the climb". I can't think of good enough words to say about the perfectness of those lyrics with the subject material. That second line goes so well with "clear eyes, full hearts can't lose", too.

The second time I watched it I was boo hooing. Particularly where Tami is watching Julie holding Gracie. That part is so spot on. Flawlessly executed. Perfectly played. So beautifully put together with the music. The way you cut the daycare scene with the flashes and the color drained out. Seriously? The color drains out in your mind! God, that scene breaks my heart. It's just one of those things that makes perfect sense and should seem so easy to do but then when you're (or I'm) put in the position you do, or want to do, exactly what Tami did. RUN. "No, you can't have my baby!!!". And they can be 9 and you still want to run with them. Then her crying while rocking that stroller. The enormous weight of it all...at times it looks like it's breaking her and it's obvious she thinks she's doing it all wrong while knowing that if she could just juggle better she could do it perfectly. She just needs more time and more hands etc. But she just keeps doing it. (lyrics fit perfectly) It makes that scene of Julie holding Gracie so beautiful because you realize (the viewer and Tami) it's all working together despite her flaws and better plans whether she thinks so or not. It's not perfect but it's working and creating "something beautiful" in it's imperfection. And you melted it together so well with such a perfect song. I'm telling you, TEARS! Crying and tears. I love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love! It!

I want to comment on the technical side more but I'm too busy gushing over how well you captured the emotion and I know the technical stuff fed it all. You do those effects and cuts so well I can't tell sometimes what you did and what some huge Hollywood studio paid to have done. You're the best vidder by far!

It's just PERFECT and beautiful. And under all my blubbering and rambling on and on I feel humbled and completely over the moon that you'd say it's for me. I'm so in love with this one. This one is my new favorite! And that's hard because you have so many beautiful ones but this one = love!
From: cibby Date: May 29th, 2008 02:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
And you know, now I need me a Tami icon. Gotta find one.
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: May 29th, 2008 06:05 pm (UTC) (Link)

Re: That was perfect

I will undoubtedly read this comment over and over again -- it makes me so happy.

I know we talked when S2 was airing about the awesomeness of Tami and of Connie Britton for being able to capture that so well. But as well as she captures it, she's still an actor playing a character -- you and all of the other moms out there are the real, live versions :)

(edited because I apparently wrote "a actor" earlier...and here I am, again not sleeping and I can only imagine how great my spelling will be tomorrow!)

Edited at 2008-05-30 04:42 am (UTC)
sekkie From: sekkie Date: May 29th, 2008 03:19 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm just going to pretty much ditto what Cibby--everything is just perfect about this vid. It really is. The song, the cuts, the colors, it all has such emotional resonance.
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: May 29th, 2008 05:50 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thank you! I know you guys haven't gotten through the first season of FNL yet, let alone the second, so I'm really touched that you watched (and hope it didn't spoil you too badly, though FNL isn't a show that relies a lot on plot twists).
jarrow From: jarrow Date: May 29th, 2008 03:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
This is beautiful! I love the opening sequence in particular. You do great work with the scattered fade transitions across the vid; very nice. Thanks for sharing this! I really miss FNL.
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: May 29th, 2008 05:55 pm (UTC) (Link)
I really appreciate the kind words! I knew what I wanted to do with that opening (trying to show her frayed edges, the physical separation with Eric off at TMU), but struggled to get it to feel on the timeline like it did in my head.
gigglemonster From: gigglemonster Date: May 29th, 2008 11:36 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow! That was really, really wonderful!
Tami is probably my favorite character on the show and you've captured her perfectly with this vid. Such a treat to watch :)
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: May 30th, 2008 01:24 am (UTC) (Link)
Tami is probably my favorite character on the show and you've captured her perfectly with this vid.

I adore her and wanted to do right by her with the vid -- so I am beyond thrilled that you think it captures her well. Thanks bunches for that lovely comment! And OMG, icon love...Christian charity indeed!!
buffyann From: buffyann Date: May 30th, 2008 06:54 am (UTC) (Link)
That was so pretty. You really made a good use of the footage and I loved your work on cuts and fades and how you varied them throughout the video. I loved the editing style here, it reminded me of the opening credits of the show, which I love.
Very sweet ! thank you for making it !
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: May 30th, 2008 03:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much! It pleases me a lot to know that you enjoyed the editing and thought the footage was used well.
stabbim From: stabbim Date: May 30th, 2008 01:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
The Taylor family's struggles were my favorite part of season 2. You captured it all beautifully.

I don't know much about editing, but I really appreciate what you were doing here. It must have been so difficult to vid this.

Another one of your vids that I'll be watching over and over again. Will rec it in my LJ.
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: May 30th, 2008 04:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm so glad that you thought this was successful at capturing the Taylor family's S2 issues...and elated that it's a keeper and worthy of a rec! Thank you so very much!
stabbim From: stabbim Date: June 1st, 2008 08:47 pm (UTC) (Link)
It really worked for me. I rewatch lots of your vids on a regular basis. Definitely keepers. :)

pauline_73 From: pauline_73 Date: May 30th, 2008 05:07 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow, that was so great. You make me feel like re watching the second season all over again.
This was such a great potrayal of what Tami is, and what is her life... It couldn't be any more complete. And your editing is great. I especially like the part fromù 0'53 to 1'01, when everything goes so fast (and the shot of Tami's hand with her ring? such a great idea!) Everything's so smooth, right with the music... Saving that to watch over and over... (and now i'll have to check your other videos too! ;))
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: May 30th, 2008 07:49 pm (UTC) (Link)
Such lovely remarks -- I'm honored by them :) I tried to work in multiple facets of who Tami is...wife, mother, sister, guidance counselor. To hear that you found it to be a complete picture of her life is really gratifying!
raspberry_splat From: raspberry_splat Date: May 30th, 2008 10:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
I didn't see this posted until today and I just DL'd and watched immediately...well..as you know, I have never laid eyes on FNL except through your vidding eyes...and well..I know it's going to sound really silly, but I finished the vid with tears in my eyes. The tears crept in at the baptism...as Julie was holding the baby (I especially loved the awkwardness meshed with the loving way she holds her) ..3:49, ready to be baptized ....and then Tami and Julie smile...
I wish I knew more about this story and these people, but your magnificent vidding skills...and the mommy in me...made this quite an experience and I could understand enough to feel my heart following along. Your editing, just sweeps me up..the cuts...the lovely crossfades..all the nuances and emotion painted with such a magnificent brush. Just wow. Only you could have me ready to weep over people I've never met....from a show I've never seen. This song is beyond perfect ....oh my goodness how it is. This vid is truly something beautiful indeed. I'll be watching a many more times....I kinda feel...involved!

God, what utter joy it is to view your work... sighhh What a beautiful observer and painter you are.

(Speaking of mommies, my own 'baby' is getting ready for her first formal dance as I type this...sighhhh!)

Soooooo looking forward to chatting with you,.... :) :)
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: May 31st, 2008 03:17 am (UTC) (Link)
It's really thrilling to know that you had an emotional response to this even without knowing the show -- thank you SO much for sharing your thoughts! FNL excels at portraying stuff that's fairly real and everyday by TV standards...and what's more real than a mom struggling to balance a newborn, a teenage daughter who is rebelling, her job and so on? The show is just so utterly believable and engaging when it comes to the beauty and heartbreak in these rather everyday moments and that's what I hoped to be able to present in this vid. Thanks again for your lovely remarks!

(Speaking of mommies, my own 'baby' is getting ready for her first formal dance as I type this...sighhhh!)

Oh my gosh -- who was more anxious, you or her? :) I hope she had a wonderful time!

Soooooo looking forward to chatting with you,.... :) :)

What time are we on for tomorrow? Maybe 10? We did it later than that the last time, but I think that was because you had dinner plans. Yay, I'm looking forward to it as well!
un4scene From: un4scene Date: June 2nd, 2008 04:27 am (UTC) (Link)
You really captured Tammy so wonderfully, huge congratulations! Great timing on your edits and perfect use of effects. It's a tough show to vid.

I only wish I had thought of your two vids when I was trying to talk a friend into watching FNL and got the usual 'not into football' reply.
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: June 2nd, 2008 12:22 pm (UTC) (Link)
Thanks so much for watching and commenting -- I really appreciate those kind remarks!

Argh, "not into football"...I really don't even want to describe the show when I tell other people that it's awesome and they should watch. I'm afraid any descriptives don't do it justice and tend to polarize people, like with the, "I'm not into football, so it won't be for me," response. JUST WATCH.
girlguidejones From: girlguidejones Date: June 3rd, 2008 01:21 am (UTC) (Link)
Uh, how did I not know you had a new vid up until I saw the commentary post (which I then had to FORCE myself to skip so I would watch the vid through my own eyes first!)

You KNOW I adore Tami Taylor. Absolutely worship her. I feel like you've really done something remarkable with this vid. It feels so...faceted?...showing all of Tami's roles, and delineating her incarnations -wife, lover, mom, sister, woman- and yet somehow you've made it flow seamlessly just the same.

I literally had a lump in my throat, and was swallowing back tears, and still felt triumphant and joyful right along with Tami at the end, when Julie was holding Gracie for her baptism.

You know me...I'll get the tech appreciation on the second and third viewing, but I had to leave the gushy squee right away!

::smisHes vid::

::twirls you::
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: June 3rd, 2008 02:54 am (UTC) (Link)
Uh, how did I not know you had a new vid up until I saw the commentary post

Ironically, I think I released it on one of your days off last week, so you TRULY have no excuse!! *hee*

Tami is absolute awesomeness (I swear, everyone on FNL is...every time I stop to think about a particular character, I think he/she must be my favorite because they are all so. much. love.) and it makes me really happy to hear you say that the vid brings out so many of her facets. I wanted to weave those all together as best I could, because those roles are the things that *almost* crush her in S2, while at the same time, they are the very things that make the struggle so worthwhile. Connie Britton made it all so raw and real that you really can't help but celebrate with her when it all comes together, like that moment you mention where Julie is holding Gracie to be baptized.

Thank you, thank you! Your gushy squee means the world :)
bop_radar From: bop_radar Date: June 10th, 2008 09:10 am (UTC) (Link)
I am having one of those moments where I can't find the words to sum up how beautiful that was. But I'm determined to try anyway because you deserve SO much praise for this vid! I don't think it would be easy to make a Tami vid and I'm so impressed by your use of this song--it completely felt like it was about Tami and her family.

I think this vid is a beautiful tribute to motherhood, even if I didn't know the source material. But knowing Tami, I know you've more than done her justice here. You show the beauty in her struggles and the fact that motherhood is the most important job any woman can ever have.

Like Friday Night Lights itself it lifted my spirits and made my heart soar. It has so much heart.

I'll try my hand at some specific feedback, though your skilled vidding makes it very hard to pick highlights: everything is so smooooooth, flowing from one moment to the next in one long breath. :)

Intro: I love the shadows in the corners and the way you use blurs coming into focus
0.35 I love Tami's response look to finding her sister talking to Julie here, and you capture her frustration really well in the sequence that follows
1.08 I loved seeing Tami and Coach reunite--you made me live through the pain of their separation again, and Tami's relief at his return
1.22 I looove this line 'you cut me up and you make me bleed', especially with 'bleed' timed to that expression on Julie's face
1.48: Another great sequence--this line really captured for me the idea that Coach tries to show Tami how much she is loved, how much she gives, but at times she feels so frayed she can't quite see it or feel it. Her uncertain facial expression and vulnerability in the shot at this point really moved me.
2.04 This was probably the emotional high point for me--it was so terrible when Tami struck Julie, but I loved the swiftness with which you moved to her waiting for Julie to return. That idea that Tami will be there anyway, a committed mother, no matter how hard things get. And then shew
2.11 I got chills when her head turned suddenly on Julie's return. That speaks volumes about being a mother, I think.
2.49 What a beautiful uplifting moment--Tami helping Julie get her licence
3.20: I love the way you capture Tami's pride at the Christening, why it's worth fighting for to her
3.38 Eeee! The effects you've used her with the jump cuts to still images are just awesome and made me squee so much. The sequence catches so much about their daily life--with Tami moving between Coach and the baby and Julie, and with the image relaxing back into 'normal' motion. It was just PERFECT.
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: June 10th, 2008 04:46 pm (UTC) (Link)
I woke up, turned on the computer and opened up my inbox, and reading this (plus your other comment, not to lump them together) was like a shaft of sunlight opened up right above my head. Such kind, generous comments...I can't even thank you enough and your timing could not possibly have been better :)

Like Friday Night Lights itself it lifted my spirits and made my heart soar. It has so much heart.

The show is so authentic to me -- it really hits close to home and close to the heart. If the vid even captured a hint of what Connie Britton brought to the season, then I have to consider it a raving success. Thank you again...I don't even have the right words to say just how much.
rhiannonhero From: rhiannonhero Date: June 10th, 2008 02:32 pm (UTC) (Link)
I loved this so much and rec'd it on my journal. Thank you for making it.
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: June 10th, 2008 04:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
Oh, how wonderful to know that you loved it and found it worthy of a rec! Thank you!
buffyx From: buffyx Date: June 22nd, 2008 07:34 pm (UTC) (Link)
That was a gorgeous video, and beautifully edited. Loved it. ♥
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: June 22nd, 2008 10:15 pm (UTC) (Link)
It makes me so happy to know that you enjoyed it -- I really appreciate the kind comment!
dualbunny From: dualbunny Date: July 20th, 2008 05:58 am (UTC) (Link)
This is definitely something beautiful. :} I still haven't seen the show, so I'm sure I missed the significance of a few moments, but overall I loved how much added weight you've given to all of these everday moments. How you've made her story feel intimate and epic at the same time. :)
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: July 20th, 2008 03:39 pm (UTC) (Link)
How you've made her story feel intimate and epic at the same time.

Ah, that's a *lovely* thing to say! FNL is so great at shining a light to reveal the specialness that can be found in the everyday, and I'm so pleased that you got a taste of that in the vid :) Thank you so much for watching and commenting!
(Deleted comment)
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: October 2nd, 2008 08:16 pm (UTC) (Link)
Wow, I am so honored by your comments about this vid!

the juxtaposition of Julie leaving to take her driver's test with dropping off Gracie at daycare at 2:50-3:00 was magnificent.

I'm happy that particular section worked for you! I worried that might be hard to read for viewers, but I wanted to interweave those rites of passage that Tami was going through with each of her daughters...and conveniently enough, both scenes end with driving off in a car, so I hoped that would make the parallel clearer.

I gush because I love. Your vids, they kill me. :D

Again, I'm just honored (and humbled and also pleased as punch :)) that you feel that way -- thank you so much for your very kind words!
halowrites From: halowrites Date: December 2nd, 2008 10:00 pm (UTC) (Link)
this is so utterly perfect it makes me ache. you have captured the essense of Tami -- of all mothers-- so beautifully. one of the best vids I have seen, truly. <3
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: December 3rd, 2008 12:18 am (UTC) (Link)
Oh, what an absolutely beautiful thing to say about the vid! Thank you for the comments -- I'm so glad to know how it made you feel!
rhiannonhero From: rhiannonhero Date: December 3rd, 2008 02:46 am (UTC) (Link)
I just wanted to tell you that I come back to this video all of the time. It's truly an amazing and touching video. As a mom, it really speaks to me. Thanks for making it.
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: December 3rd, 2008 05:22 am (UTC) (Link)
I'm so touched that you would come back to let me know that you still enjoy it -- if it holds up to repeated viewings, I couldn't ask for more! And I'm really happy that it feels authentic to a mom.
kj_svala From: kj_svala Date: January 10th, 2009 12:25 pm (UTC) (Link)
Hey ya, I found this video due to a Multi fandom Vid rec, and I just HAD to watch it, of course.

I just love it, all of it. You have so many great scenes in this one, so many emotions.

I love the mix between fast cut scenes and longer clips, matching the beats, and the effects you used, all of this together looks just awesome.

I love the character, she is amazing and one of my favorites on the show. And you did her justice with this video.

It`s a keeper, for sure. All of your videos are actually.

I`ll add you to my list asap, if you don`t mind.

I did DL some more of the videos I didn`t know so far and will watch right away. And I don`t want to miss the new videos you might do.
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: January 10th, 2009 06:56 pm (UTC) (Link)
I love the character, she is amazing and one of my favorites on the show. And you did her justice with this video.

It`s a keeper, for sure. All of your videos are actually.

Thank you *so* much -- I'm really happy you thought I did Tami justice (ADORE her) and that you think my vids overall are worth keeping is a huge compliment :)

I`ll add you to my list asap, if you don`t mind.

Not at all! Thanks again for the very kind feedback!
crazyboltonlass From: crazyboltonlass Date: April 23rd, 2009 09:03 pm (UTC) (Link)
This was absolutely fabulous. Beautiful portrayal into all aspects of Tami's character in what was a challenging time for her, dealing with a newborn, a teenage daughter, and not having Coach throughout her pregnancy and Gracie's first weeks.

I loved how you edited it all together. Beautiful video, I'm really struggling to formulate thoughts to express how much I enjoyed. ♥

This video pretty much put a huge grin on my face. I'm so thrilled we'll be getting more of the Taylors.

Edited at 2009-04-23 09:04 pm (UTC)
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: April 24th, 2009 01:49 am (UTC) (Link)
This video pretty much put a huge grin on my face.

As did your comment :-) Thank you -- I'm so appreciative of the time you took to let me know how you felt about the vid! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it and felt it brought those aspects of Tami's character together. And like you, I can't believe we're getting not one but TWO more seasons of FNL...it's so great but underrated that I hadn't really dared to hope for anything past S3!
whitter78 From: whitter78 Date: April 25th, 2009 07:11 am (UTC) (Link)
Wow, wow, wow! I was directed here by the above poster... I'm not so eloquent with the words, but just wanted to say that this was absolutely fantastic! The song goes so well with Tami's arc in season 2 and the editing was beyond outstanding! You are very talented.

Tami (and Eric) are definitely my favorite characters on the outstanding Friday Night Lights... thank you for this... will definitely be watching again! Oh, and bring on 2 more seasons!
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: April 25th, 2009 02:26 pm (UTC) (Link)
I'm so grateful for your kind comments about the vid (and the time you took to say them)! FNL does an incredible job of drawing characters that feel authentic and I don't think I've ever seen a married couple portrayed on TV with such richness and complexity as the Taylors...love them and certainly hoped to do justice to that richness with this look at Tami. I can't wait for more FNL :-) Thanks again -- I'm thrilled to know that you enjoyed the vid!
magnifica7 From: magnifica7 Date: June 11th, 2009 09:08 pm (UTC) (Link)
More awesomeness! Your portrayal proves Tami is so much more than Mrs. Coach!

Again you have my heartfelt thanks for sharing your work! :)
chasarumba From: chasarumba Date: June 14th, 2009 07:48 pm (UTC) (Link)
And again you have my very sincere appreciation for your feedback! I love Tami and it was a pleasure to try to show what's so amazing about her :)
46 comments or speak!